第一章 杀鸡给兔子看
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再次询问了自己各大幕僚的情况之后,川普很乐观的发现,形势不是小好,简直是一片大好啊。
“现在唯一的问题,是我们的支持率有点偏低”,
“那个该死的盖洛普民调,居然说我们的支持率还不到30%!”,川普一边说着,一边气的胡子都飘了起来。
“再怎么样,咱们35%的支持率总是有的嘛”,
“所以无论如何,咱们必须做点什么来积累声望,不然一个任期都没坐满就被赶下去,那也太丢人了”。
于是在白房子的会议室里面,开始爆发了激烈的争论,一般而言,凝聚民心士气,效果最好也是最简单的时机是外敌入侵。然而,作为蓝星上毫无争议的流氓头子,要寻找敌人,可不是一件很容易的事情。
在铁幕时代,最好的敌人当然是毛熊啦,数百万大军,还有在欧罗巴边境上的钢铁洪流,那可不是闹着玩的,有这样的对手,欧罗巴一帮小弟乖得不行,都不用老大发话,每年的保护费就乖乖的送上来了。
不过自从演员出生的李根总统,用半真半假的《星球大战》计划把毛熊忽悠瘸了以后,这个敌人承受不住内部和外部的压力,一下子轰然倒塌,剩下大毛二毛孤苦伶仃,远称不上合格的对手了。
本来这个时候,兔子就应该毫无疑问成为大米国最大的假想敌,可没想到**兄弟跳了出来,丧心病狂的“911”,虽然没人性,可是客观上也帮助兔子转移了大米国的视线,有了偷偷刷兵发育的机会。
后来发生的事情,大家都知道了,**挂了,疑似**的后台傻大木也挂了,反正借此机会,大米国把不听话的小流氓都揍了一顿,结果最近,连最不听话,手里还有大蘑菇,不能随便揍的北棒子也服软了。
川普拔剑四顾,心底一片茫然,“问世间,对手为何物?”
于是,在座这帮川普的铁杆兄弟们的眼里,不约而同的出现了一个猥琐发育,时不时还抡着板砖来一发的长耳朵动物的身影。
“这只猥琐的兔子,我已经忍了他很久了”,川普给会议定下来一个基调,“一定要把这次兔子给彻底查个底掉,有什么黑材料,赶紧都弄上来”。
这个时候,当然是用到cia和fbi的时候了,cia的老大不算是川普的嫡系,只不过在之前的选举大战中立场谨慎,没有直接像fbi前老大那样,跳出来怼川普,所以在清洗风暴中幸存下来,这个时候,正是他表忠心的最好机会啊,于是cia老板跳出来说,
“川老大,咱们前段时间不是怼北棒子进行严格的禁运吗,要做到连一只蚂蚁都不能运出来,一只蚊子都不能飞进去,结果我们发现有华国的货轮,偷偷的开往北棒子”。
“查,给我往死里查”,川普立刻兴奋了,“这是一个非常好的借口,支持恐怖分子北棒,我倒要看看这只死兔子还有什么话说”。
这时候不开眼的国务卿,仗着自己跟川普有点什么七歪八拐的亲戚关系,举起手弱弱的说,“那个,总统先生您不是下个月要跟北棒的金胖子会面吗”,
“所以我们刚刚已经把北棒从恐怖分子的黑名单上拿掉了,总不能让总统先生您跟恐怖分子头目会面啊”。
川普好像想起了什么,不过他一挥手,“这个不重要”,
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