77、第七十七章
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这情状，实在令人不适。可郑宓却觉快意。</p>
明苏当年也是这般哀求。</p>
郑家灭门时，众多老弱妇孺，惨遭欺凌时，也曾如此哀求。</p>
但那时，谁人怜悯过他们。</p>
淑太妃道：“走吧。”</p>
她们走出大殿，关上门。</p>
殿外寒风袭来，却别有清爽之感。</p>
“太后娘娘。”淑太妃望着远处，温声说道，“昨夜，我思来想去，心中实在难受，于是便去了垂拱殿。”</p>
郑宓意外，昨夜无人通禀，她与明苏，都不知她来过。</p>
淑太妃望向她，目色甚是柔和：“宫人说你在殿中，我便未来搅扰，命人不必通禀，只在殿外待了一会儿，便走了。”</p>
这是委婉说辞，待的只怕不止一会儿，是告诉郑宓，她知晓她昨夜宿在垂拱殿中，未曾离开。</p>
郑宓一时惊慌，她忙道：“太妃，我……”</p>
淑太妃摇了摇头，示意她不必慌张。</p>
此处只她们二人，许多话，也不必隐晦着说了。</p>
“能有人陪她，爱惜她，我身为母亲，很是欣慰。”她没有说，明苏曾经倾心一名叫做郑宓的女子，她也不知眼前的太后，便是郑宓，她只以为明苏终于能从过往走出来，能尝试着去待别人好。</p>
淑太妃很高兴。</p>
心中挂着一个永远回不来的人有多煎熬，她明白，就像是日子突然间停住了一般，每时每刻，皆是度日如年，生命失了色彩，失了欢欣，万物都没了光彩，五感都似消失了，尝不出滋味，嗅不了芬芳，也看不进世间一切的美景。</p>
这一世其实早就结束了，就结束在那人离去的那一刻。</p>
之后的岁月不论多悠长，都只是熬，只是一遍又一遍地回忆当年，活在过去的时光里，梦中欢笑，醒着却是连泪都流尽了。</p>
她明白这滋味，她已熬了这些年了。故而明苏若能走出来，她自是高兴的。</p>
至于皇帝与太后的身份之别，女子与女子有违伦常，与一世困苦思念相较，都是末流而已，何必在意？</p>
“今日之事，太后娘娘只做不知，都是我做的。”淑太妃又道。</p>
太上皇不慈不爱，歹毒卑劣，但毕竟是明苏的父亲。枕边之人杀害了她的父亲，不论明苏是否在意，都不必让此事留下痕迹。</p>
郑宓先是惊愕，随即感激不已：“太妃……”</p>
淑太妃拍了拍她的手，示意她不必多言：“后面的事，我都安排了，太上皇是自己摔了一跤，心悸而亡，娘娘便说是才来，恰好遇上了，什么都不知道。明苏那里，我会去说。”</p>
她这番好意，郑宓记下了，她点头道：“多谢太妃。”</p>
“不必见外。”淑太妃说道，她回头看了眼殿门，心想，谢什么，她盼着这一日，盼了许多年了。</p>
这么多年，唯有今日，是畅快的。</p>
今日天清气朗，阳光映照在白雪上，反光有些刺眼。</p>
淑太妃回过头，看到眼前这片开阔的天空，与金灿灿的阳光，难得的感受到，一切都是如此美好。</p>
但下一刻，她便觉心中空了下来，眼前的光景再好，都与她无关。</p>
她所爱已不在，所痛恨之人也要不在了。</p>
唯一关心的明苏，也有心爱之人，会慢慢忘记过往的苦楚，随着岁月朝前走。</p>
她似乎什么都不必牵挂了，像是飘然伶仃的浮萍，孑然一身，无爱无恨，只是活着。</p>
www.huanyuanshenqi.com</p>
作者有话要说： 这段感情得到了婆婆的认可。</p>
太上皇总算下线了，断更的这些日子，我每天都想怎么让太上皇下线，真的太碍眼了。</p>
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