第74章 第 74 章
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……
岁安陪着母亲回房，都不用她问，靖安长公主已先开口：“商辞是前日回来的。”
岁安没说话，将母亲扶到窗边的斜榻上躺下，又转身合了窗户，点了安神香。
“你就不问问，为何我与你父亲让他进了山门？”
当年，商辞是被逐出师门，只是他走的太突然，很多事发生的也突然，同届学生都没反应过来，以至于传出许多种说法，最后是李耀在山中给了明确说法，商辞丁忧返乡，又因他是李耀的得意门生，所以顺利在地方谋得差事，不会再回北山。
天子脚下每日都有新鲜事，一个商辞并没有让努力读书的学生们议论太久，很快淹没在新事新时之中。
却没想，这个本不该再回长安的人，不仅回来了，还回到北山。
岁安听到这里的时候，心里大致明白了父母的态度。
“你已嫁给谢原，似乎也很喜欢他，怎么还会在意商辞吗？”岁安默了默，低声道：“女儿不在意。”
愈合一道伤口，也是要分许多步骤的。
岁安最初决定重新站起来继续往前走时，第一件想做的事就是把有关商辞的一切都毁掉。
亲手抄写、装裱过的他的文章诗赋；亲手做的、最后却被他遗留下来的毛笔和书盒；甚至是两人一起靠过的树，一起走过的石板路。
眼看着她要砍树挖路，靖安长公主气的从病榻上坐了起来。
这叫哪门子释然？
真正的释然，不是去断绝、销毁与那个人有关的一切，忌讳睹物思人。
而是哪怕这个大活人重新站在面前，也能泰然处之。
最终，岁安还是歇了壮举，连带着那些没有销毁完的东西，也一并收拢收拢，丢进了库房。
面对病中的母亲和愤怒的父亲，她毅然选择在一夜之间跨越了所有循序渐进的步骤，直接跳到最后，决绝的去一次次尝试真正的释然。
靖安长公主审视岁安片刻，轻轻叹气：“岁岁，过来。”
岁安走到母亲面前，握住她的手。
“你还小，要经历的事情还有很多。不错，你和商辞的确有不愉快的过去，他也一度让我和你父亲很生气。可是，他始终是一个有抱负，有才华的人。如果因为个人私情，就要打压他，这并不明智。”
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