第74章 你为什么又要走
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“我能和谁说一句真话？我曾以为至少你的妹妹，谢雪她能和其他人不一样。可到底是我太天真了。”
“我是有病的，谢清呈。”他说到最后，面带笑容，神情凄怆，诡谲疯魔，可怖至极，他戳着自己的心脏，“我他妈的有病！谁知道了真相还愿意同从前一样看我待我？我一辈子都要活在一张正常人的面具下——坐牢还有一个期限呢，我病愈的期限又在哪里？”
声音到最后都在颤抖。
“十九年了。谢清呈。”
“你为什么要救我啊？”
“在你之前所有医生都没有办法很好地减缓我的病症，是你给过我希望又把我推回到深渊里——既然这样你为什么要救我？你又为什么要骗我？你恨我吧谢清呈——你知不知道我也恨你！”
“我从你离开的那一天，我他妈就恨极了你！”
贺予是个几乎不说脏话的人，但这一刻，在催眠营造出的梦里，他却有些失态了，太久的混乱在他心里发酵，他控制不住自己血里心里四肢百骸里的冲动。
他在梦里冲谢清呈发脾气，像个真正十九岁的男孩子那样，没有理智，没有章法，没有深思熟虑，把喉咙里闷着的话蛮不讲理地，不管不顾地都倾了出来。
他骂着骂着，眼圈都泛红了。
他说：“我真恨你，谢清呈。”
“现在你也恨了我，你说你要是当初看也不看我一眼让我死了该有多好，如果不是因为这种病，不是因为遇见你，我们彼此的人生里都可以少一个仇人，没很多痛苦。”
“我和你，我们也就不会互相厌憎到今天这个地步。”
他梦里的谢清呈没说话，而是目光复杂地看着他，静默了好久之后，男人转身：“……我让助理上来给你打针。”
“你自己为什么不打谢清呈？！你是看到我怕了？”贺予神情堪称暴怒，语气却又平静地可怖，“还是你嫌碰到我脏了。”
“你想怎么认为都可以。”谢清呈道，“有一句话你说对了，贺予。”
“如果不是因为这种病，不是因为遇见你，我们彼此的人生里都可以少一个仇人，没很多痛苦。”
“请你控制好你的情绪，不然我只能真的用拘束带捆住你。”
“……好。那你趁早捆。赶紧捆！”贺予仰头，红着眼眶笑了笑，声音幽幽的，“不然你迟早会后悔的。”
谢清呈没再理他，转身推门走了出去。
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